Women's History Month

      “Prevention of Sexual Harrassment” (POSH) is a quarterly training requirement in the Army. Statistically, this makes it twice as important as marksmanship. This is understandable given the infrequent opportunities I have to shoot anyone. Every three months, we gather and listen to someone read the same slide show that we saw three months prior. I say read because Army briefings rarely break from a single format. Slide goes up; long pause; briefer reads the slide verbatim; briefer turns to the audience and tells us what he thinks the slide is trying to say; short pause; questions? Ok next slide. This goes on for an hour or so and is typically punctuated by random, embarrassing, and frequently uncomfortable vignettes about something he witnessed years ago that may demonstrate the type of sexual harassment described on one slide or the other.
      It’s torture, but at least I was reminded for another three months that I shouldn’t refer to my co-workers as jiggles, toots, or honeybun… Mission Accomplished. I was also reminded about the “awareness” that I should be spreading this month. “What awareness is that?” you ask. Well, did you know that March is Women’s History month? Bet you didn’t. It is and I have decided to celebrate it by reading Cullen Murphy’s “The Word According to Eve: Women and the Bible in Ancient Times and our Own”. Ok, I’m half joking. The realization that this was Women’s History month and the fact that this book is on my nightstand are coincidental but I have enjoyed bragging about it to my wife. I take every opportunity I can to remind her how cultured and sensitive I am. One day she might believe me.
     The book is remarkable; I recommend it regardless of sex. Basically, Murphy travels through time documenting all the innovative ways that men have leveraged 1st Corinthians in an effort to trick women into making us turkey sandwiches.
     Women’s history month, Murphy’s book, the quarterly training and my impending return to my beautiful wife all seem to coalesce for me as the “news” back home continues to swirl around the latest celebrity beating and its fall out. In case you live in a cave, I’ll sum it up: Chris Brown, a boy whose dance moves far outclass his chivalry, tried to solve a lover’s quarrel by beating his girlfriend until she was too unconscious to argue with him anymore. Shocking? It shouldn’t be. 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. The second-greatest health threat to pregnant women behind only car accidents is murder. That’s right: murder. Use protection kids! If you get pregnant someone might decide to kill you (not kidding).
     As long as there is testosterone, there will be idiot’s incapable of using their words during an argument and some of these jackasses will break the cardinal playground rule and hit a girl. What I am more concerned about is the reaction of our young people across the country and their insistence on the fact that Rihanna may have provoked (and therefore deserved?) such an assault. In an informal Boston survey, 46% of youths questioned thought Rihanna was asking for it.
     Although I may have punched the steering wheel during Umbrella’s stuttering rise to the top of the Billboard charts, I learned a long time ago that hitting a woman was wrong. This shouldn’t make me some sort of hero. In fact, I’ve often rolled my eyes at the overtly macho emphasis that many men place on this type of “revolutionary” thinking. I’ve often felt it was such a basic principle that hearing someone pontificate, “I would never hit a girl” seemed obvious and a little dopey. Of course you wouldn’t hit a girl you dimwit; you shouldn’t hit anybody.
     Perhaps it’s not so obvious to everyone. Old Chris couldn’t seem to stop himself and now I have to hear the future of my country make excuses for him. Oprah practically had to teach a class on why such behavior shouldn’t be tolerated. Do you know how to identify a problem beyond repair? Wait around for Oprah to do a special on it!
     Deputy commanding officer of the 10th Field Engineer Regiment, Lieutenant Colonel Abdul Saaduq, a deeply religious, virulently political, and oft misguided and inappropriate Iraqi friend of mine weighed in on women’s issues for me the other day. “Women in your Army are a good thing, Captain Dorko.”
     “Why’s that, my friend?”
     “They can cook and clean, you must have great food.”
     I paused for a moment and let this register as I crafted a diplomatic and thoughtful response, taking into account the cultural differences, my counterpart’s lack of education, and his status as a pious and devout Shiite.
     Sergeant First Class Roger Betz, senior non-commissioned officer and advisor to the 10th Field Engineer Regiment was seated there with me. He broke it down immediately for Abdul Saaduq: “No, sir. In the sixties, our women burned their bras and got out of the kitchen. Since then they aren’t required to do the cooking and cleaning for us, anymore.” SFC Betz has an abrupt and pointed way of explaining everything. He’s a father of three and rarely puts up with anyone’s ignorance. He made it pretty simple and I was glad he was there. My book spent 300 pages explaining a similar concept.
     A month ago I would have chalked Saaduq’s remark up as the ramblings of an ignorant Iraqi with a backwards worldview. I would have smiled inwardly knowing I represented a country where such ridiculous sentiments are no longer expressed. But this latest celebrity drama and the inexcusable reactions of so many young Americans across our great country has made me pay attention to what I may have been taking for granted.
     If I’ve learned something here in the cradle of civilization, it’s that our communities are only as healthy as the health of their women. Maybe it’s not so ridiculous that the federal government feels it necessary to remind me how to behave like a descent human being each quarter. More people may need to read Cullen Murphy’s book and realize how far we’ve come in dealing with this truly ancient topic. Maybe the rest of us just need the abbreviated version and a dose of reality from SFC Betz.